Mother's Birthday and blabbing

Hola... My dream is paused , yes Spanish course is ended by me. I was just very busy that I had to choose between yoga and Spanish study. I chose yoga. I felt bad to fail my dream, but this is not permanent. I really did enjoy my Spanish class, and I am urged to learn, but time is limited and sometimes you have to choose one way or another ! Anyway.. A few rambling, I just want to say Happy Birthday to my mother here as a memory of her. I finally reached my target for a life span budget. I did not expect this to come this soon, but it did happen because of my hard working. Someone even said to me that I got some men to treat and pay for my expenses. Well.. They can think however they like because every Baht I have earned is my proud and diligence indeed. My mom bought a cake for herself on her birthday, the son did not give a damn about his mother, but girlfriend. This probably hurts her. To me, I am kind of a hard one, she can cry over and over for her sorrow, but I'm not going to sob her and say things will be okay. Hey things are not okay, so accept it and improve it. I gave her some cash for her security to live daily, I took her to nice places for dinners, movies, and of course shopping. I did not have to do all these on any specific days but any days I feel like we have a click time. So, when she started saying about wanting to buy her own cake, I responded, 'Hey! that is super cool, you have money, you know how to buy a cake, why would you have to waste your time and wait for someone and keep on guessing if you will get a birthday cake from them or not?', 'Mom, you did the right thing. I do the same,' 'I take care of myself and do whatever I want, when I want it, and no one knew what I have to deal individually'. I keep my weaknesses inside and I only show to her my strengths because I just can't be broken for her. So Happy Birthday to you, mother, and you know it's my style to just be tough on you and on us, so we can have a better life together soon. Another day passed by. I am still thankful after the big storm came last night when my emotion erupted for nothing. as I remain being myself and human on this earth, I still have so many reasons to live ... The true is that I still stuck with something I know it's not a bright future, but my gut told me I just have to hold on.. Many times I am unsure about things, a lot of things.. and If I chose already , no regrets.... Night xoxo zzzzz AW.